2001-02-01 || 7.58p

I never said that I was brave...

Every February, I die just a little bit more. I feel it coming; big, unstoppable, careening towards me like a Bull at a china shop. I don't know how to dodge it or turn it away. People have told me that it's normal in nordic countries, that it's called Seasonal Affective Disorder or something, and that all I need is ten minutes getting intimate with a special sun lamp in the morning, but I looked up the costs and there's *no* way I can afford one. So I guess I just have to find a way to make it through. I called my Da last night, but I think I shouldn't have. I was *way* too down to speak. Ugh, I hate the way I'm going to feel very, very soon.

Oh help, here it comes...

**********

I found an olde song I wrote on the bus on the way to NYC several years ago. I was going down to see about the possibility of a job. I was fairly heavy-hearted about the whole thing, as I thought I was going to have to move there. I ended up loathing the city and not getting on at all well with the boss, so I jumped on the first bus home I could find, but anyway...

I remember tossing the song aside when I realised that the tune echoed *exactly* that of The Fields of Athenry-- This is always a danger when you play in a Celtic folk band, I guess. Well, the band is now defunct as the guitarist/lead singer had a psychotic relapse and is currently heavily sedated...

maybe I'll re-work it a bit and try to change the tune some.

**********

Who'd have think it? This shakey and ill feeling I've had for the past couple of days is an allergic reaction to Tarot's claws! I had no idea that a cat allergy could create such discomfort! Oh well, I'm feeling much better to-night, so I guess I'm going to live. Great, to survive a cat-attack just to be killed by February. How embarassing...

**********

So, to-morrow, I'm going to see ford in Toronto. I am looking forward to this in a big way, ford knows how big a way...

**********

I'm going to finish packing and lose my melancholy under a bed somewhere. Love me, my friends, and I'll try to love you back.

||Gods save the Queen,
||cf

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older shite

One last little note... - 09.21.2006

de-stressing, biking and terrorism - 06.06.2006

Mildly stressed... - 05.29.2006

More crime stupidity - 05.28.2006

Scary stuff - 05.25.2006

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