08.23.2005 || 14h24

Politikette's big day

I'm fighting with a poem that isn't even willing to meet me halfway. It's hard to write again after so long of letting it atrophy. It's coming back so slowly that it sometimes seems as if it's abandoned me forever. just sometimes. I wrote Jazz a poem for her birthday, but I couldn't give it to her in such a rough state. I'm letting that one sit for a time while I wrestle with this one.

She came to town for Sister's baby's naming ceremony. The ceremony was pretty as all hell, and in typical Unitarian fashion had enough pagan and humanist imagery in to make me feel comfortable *and* erase a lot of the distaste for all things religious that Jazz's Catholic upbringing instilled in her so well. Afterwards, she played with the baby and chatted with my Maman while I caught up with a cousin of mine. I wanted to go and play with the kid a bit too, but I had a hard time seeing Jazz play with Politikette like that. She's so good at it and looks so beautiful with a child in her arms that she makes me intensely want something that I have no right, at this point in my life, to ask for.

I don't know what's going on, all I know is that I'm dumbstruck when I think about how coincidental the events that led to my meeting her were. And I did something I've never done before: just before the ceremony, Jazz was standing in Maman's kitchen chatting with one of my cousins, and as the cousin left I leaned in and asked her to share a lease with me in July. Then I went into the living room, where everyone was gathering. She caught up and whispered 'Est-ce que c'etait une farce?' To which I said 'depends on whether la réponse est oui ou non.'

It'll change things, I know. So does she. I think we can do it, though. I mean, if I can't make it work with this girl, then there's truly no order in the universe.

||Gods save the Queen,

back || forth

older shite

One last little note... - 09.21.2006

de-stressing, biking and terrorism - 06.06.2006

Mildly stressed... - 05.29.2006

More crime stupidity - 05.28.2006

Scary stuff - 05.25.2006

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