01.04.2005 || 22h48

crap and more crap

Isn't this fun, Diary dearest? Now everyone gets to read how I told my girlfriend that I wasn't coming back because this is the darkest place I've seen in years, and because the last time I felt this black was when I tried to kill myself.

Why do we do this? And I guess I mean that in so many ways, like 'why do we spread our dark shite out here for everyone who cares to read?' and 'why do we stick it out so long with lovers who are so obviously not healthy for us?' and 'Why do we hurt each other so badly when we're supposed to love one another?' and so many, many other things that hurt too much to even say.

I have so much to work out. I have to define where the disconnect lies, and whether or not I need to speak to someone professionally. I have to deal with all kinds of crap, and I need to make me the priority, here. Because I'm just not making it anymore.

And the last time I felt this way almost killed me.



||Gods save the Queen,
||cf

back || forth

older shite

One last little note... - 09.21.2006

de-stressing, biking and terrorism - 06.06.2006

Mildly stressed... - 05.29.2006

More crime stupidity - 05.28.2006

Scary stuff - 05.25.2006



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