03.10.2003 || 23h07

short tirade about acting

I am in an especially dark piece of hell and I need to talk about it. I can't call Mystie because of the time, and I'll bet that Hudson Girl's ensconced somewhere with our teacher, talking about life, the universe, and everything. Ergo, no speak. I guess I'd better air stuff out, or I just might explode.

You see, I find class to be hard. Not slightly difficult or a drag, but knock-down, drag-out, blood, sweat and screaming fuckfuckfuck hard. Every week, I struggle with the material, I try my best to *get it,* and every now and again, it comes through like a bolt from the blue. It works. It clicks so beautifully that I can't help but shine like a fucking nova. That's when I feel like an actor. Hell, with what I put in to get there, I feel like a god-triple-damned *star.*

But even when it doesn't click; even when I fail miserably, I still do it with honesty. I still put in the effort. I'm still going to wring whatever I can out of this class because I'm there to learn something.

And when a half hour of the allotted time gets blown away because someone in class stopped listening in the third week, I get somewhat steamed. Christ, everyone got steamed. Some people were more polite than others (er, and a hell of a lot more polite than me [blush]), but at the end of the night, this kid just got defensive and stopped listening -- even though that's his problem in the first place.

Look, I have spent entire courses fighting just to finally get it on the last night. I'm not saying that I'm a rockstar. But I have to re-iterate that at least I *tried.*

We have two classes left. Will he get it?

||Gods save the Queen,

back || forth

older shite

One last little note... - 09.21.2006

de-stressing, biking and terrorism - 06.06.2006

Mildly stressed... - 05.29.2006

More crime stupidity - 05.28.2006

Scary stuff - 05.25.2006

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