12.16.2002 || 23h09

Another showcase down

Oups. Lots going on and no time to write. Sorry, Diary dearest.

Where to begin?

To-night was the showcase for the Meisner class. I had forbidden my loved ones from coming to see this one because the class had just beaten my ego down too much. I just wasn't capable of learning the lessons that the teacher was trying to give me.

To-night, it clicked. Ten weeks I've been trying to find something from my past to use in order to get into the zone, and ten minutes before walking out onstage, it finally clicked. I had to use something deadly, something that I don't think about anymore; hell, something I was frankly afraid to use. I used it. I walked out into one of the best performances I've ever done. By the end of the scene I was bawling so much that I'm not sure whether my last line was even intelligible. It took several minutes to stop crying afterwards, but you know.

Oh yeah, Hudson girl and I did our scene hung over. Last night was my work christmas party, which meant that all the beer taps and rail drinks were open for pouring -- as much as we wanted. No charge. Through some absolutely idiotic mix up, I ended up going there with Hudson Girl instead of Mystie, something about which I quite honestly feel pretty badly, but the evening was a good one nonetheless. It's a stupid story, though: I had told Mystie about the party a couple of weeks earlier, then sort of forgot about it, assuming that everything was in order. Turns out she had to work that night, so I figured I'd just go alone. Right, except that it also turns out that the sweetheart got the idea from somewhere that the party was on *Wednesday* night, not Sunday. Oups. Yay me; I should have made sure that everything was clear. Mystie sort of jokingly called me a goof, but I think she was disappointed. I am too, especially now that I've realised it was all a stupid goof-up.

Especially because something about Mystie these days has made her even more precious to me, so I hated letting her down like that. I don't know, but something clicked and she's become more of an active member of the household or something. She's started doing silly things like laundry and stuff while I'm out, and her days of hiding out in my room when I'm not home are over. She's talking to the roomies and hell, I came home from class to find her and Marv playing games on the PS 2. Sounds silly, but I loved seeing her laughing and chatting when I walked in to-night. Maybe some of that stress is starting to slip away.

I ain't letting go for love or money.

I *am* going to find some way to pay for the next acting class.



||Gods save the Queen,
||cf

back || forth

older shite

One last little note... - 09.21.2006

de-stressing, biking and terrorism - 06.06.2006

Mildly stressed... - 05.29.2006

More crime stupidity - 05.28.2006

Scary stuff - 05.25.2006



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