04.01.2002 || 00h39

An extremely incomplete report of our doings in NYC

New York is tasteless for the following reasons:

�Platforms constructed for viewing the WTC wasteland (you have to pay to get onto them);

�postcards of the September 11th attacks (including one that had been digitally manipulated to show both explosions happening simultaneously);

�The deli around the corner from the disaster site with the sign that read 'excellent view of ground zero from our 2nd floor dining room.'

Reasons I really like NYC (aside from the obvious girlfriend factor):

�The Brooklyn bridge: we walked across it and I was in awe of just how utterly beautiful it is. Sorry, Lion's Gate, I have a new favourite bridge.

�The view of the city from near Stawberry Fields in Central Park: from inside the park, the city doesn't look cramped or dirty or rude, it's just a really pretty city.

�The Subway: Montr�al's M�tro is artsy and quiet. The stations were done by designers and artists (and, of course, as with all artsy chic crap, are starting to show their age), and the trains are high-tech and smooth. No such pretence in NYC. The system is old, smelly, ugly, and loud. The trains bump and grind along, shrieking on their tracks and jolting you about, and if you don't like it, Fuck off. You gotta respect an attitude like that.

**********

Early this morning, the air outside was grey, and through the opened window I could feel the cool, creamy air of a rainy day. I stretched and pushed down the sheets to feel it on my skin. With my eyes closed, I could almost remember feeling rainy summer mornings in Vancouver, while outside, the Bronx made the same rustling sounds as any neighbourhood does early, early in the morning. I turned over and nuzzled Mystie's hair, then went back to sleep.

By the time we woke up to get the day started, there was no trace of rain. I don't even know if I really felt what I thought I felt this morning, or if I were dreaming.

**********

The origamist and I finished the second draft of our short on the drive back. It kept my mind off the lover I'd left behind in the Bronx. Again. We came home to Maple Leafs flying at halfmast and the heartbraking news that the Queen Mum has died (all over the news here, not a peep where we were in NYC. Grrr...) and went to Maman's and Sister's for Easter sups with the Slut. We tried to behave this time, but it's really beyond our power.

Oh. My second professional publishing credit was also waiting for me at Maman's place (well, 'second' not including the chapbook I published with NMB two years ago...). I guess I should be more excited. I'll work on it. The problem is that no matter what I do, it's never good enough for me. No matter how hard I am on my friends, my family, and my lovers, I always hold myself up against a bar that is set even higher. I'll try to sit down and enjoy an accomplishment one of these days. I think that I'm going to deserve it someday.

I feel lonely. I would have stayed this time if it could have been made to work. the Origamist was very patient when we were saying good-bye. But I was good and I didn't cry. I just put on a lively CD and turned on my computer to bury myself and keep my mind far, far away. But I'm going to bed soon, and that's when I can't seem to keep the tears away.



||Gods save the Queen,
||cf

back || forth

older shite

One last little note... - 09.21.2006

de-stressing, biking and terrorism - 06.06.2006

Mildly stressed... - 05.29.2006

More crime stupidity - 05.28.2006

Scary stuff - 05.25.2006



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