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09.11.2001 || 23h51 Hi there girl You are a lot tougher than I am, or at least you act like it. When I finally got through to you to-day, your voice sounded so nonchalant that I immediately felt stupid for fighting through the clogged phonelines to get to you. I know you were probably tired of panicked phonecalls by the time we spoke, but I figured that I would have been remiss not to call to check up anyway. I told you that it was just an excuse to hear your voice, but I really wanted to make sure that you weren't frightened. I was frightened. Not for your immediate safety or anything like that; I've been to NYC enough times to know how far you were from the action -- I was afraid on a more general level, I guess. The level at which I see the closing of our borders and the obvious excuses Washington now has to eliminate privacy and freedoms in the name of national security, and on the level of tightened security everywhere and the difficulties we will go through when crossing borders to be together. I am still frightened about what sort of world we will awaken to face to-morrow morning, and I want you here with me. I always do, you know. I just want it so much more now. It broke my heart to leave for work yesterday morning, knowing you wouldn't be there when I got home; and it broke it even more to discover to-day that I didn't have to come in to work yesterday because it was still a vacation day for me. If I'd known, you would not have had to leave yesterday. You would have been stuck here until they re-opened the border. So I thought about you all day. I felt you, small and warm right here, where you fit so well and I can breathe you in as you sleep. Yeah, I just wanted an excuse to hear your voice, but I was also worried about whether you felt alone to-day. And for every time I have sat with my friends and dreamed about sticking it to the big, bad USA, I am sorry. For every shot the CBC showed (and CNN didn't) of people plummeting to their deaths from the top of a burning tower, I feel just a bit more ill. For the fact that I'm not sleeping beside you to-night, I ache like nobody can understand. |
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shite One last little note... - 09.21.2006 de-stressing, biking and terrorism - 06.06.2006 Mildly stressed... - 05.29.2006 More crime stupidity - 05.28.2006 Scary stuff - 05.25.2006
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