2001-07-15 || 10:26 a.m.

If I were dictator, just for one day...

You know, I've been thinking a lot lately on subjects like death and moving and Love and complications and happiness and sadness and all the myriad little details that go along with these messy things we all drag around with us and that are called our lives.

Simple questions like, Why would current-day cf not pick up his toys and move to NYC on the strength of a relationship that has not yet had the chance to be really tested? Cf from 5 years ago would have followed her home because, even if it didn't work, there was nothing worth staying here for, aside from Best Friend. Cf from 5 years ago didn't have cause to thank his lucky stars for our Medicare system every few months, though; nor was he locked into a career path; nor did he waste his time thinking about medication south of the Border being about twice as expensive because *they* are allergic to sensible legislation.

Maybe my sense of adventure wore off with my poverty. Damn.

**********

So. Out of the four parties we were invited to, Best Friend and I went to *one*. We were planning to go to the film crew's wrap party, then the MWOS one afterwards, but our ride to the MWOS party fell through because his parents came to town. The party was all the way in Pierrefonds, so we sure as hell weren't getting there by *bus*.

Anyway, imagine a tonne or so of indie film types with no money but Big Ideas sitting around and getting increasingly inebriated. Talking louder. twelve centres of attention vying for space.

And telling such hilarious stories. I laughed more in that party than I have in a while, let me tell you.

I guess I was a bit envious because these people decided to throw caution (and in some cases, careers) to the winds and make little indie movies, with all the troubles and financial woes that they entail. I was supposed to do that. Me. Oh well-- after I make my first million, I guess...

Damn. I smell bullshit in the air.

Anyway, it's a good thing we didn't go to the other party, because they're usually pretty debaucherous and sexy, and I have *no* interest in getting sexy with anyone other than Laura, so I know that at some point, I would be sitting out all of the inuendo and adventure, and prolly getting pretty bored. I wanted to go for two reasons: as stage manager, I want to be careful *not* to be seen as snubbing anyone; and aside from the dirty bits, these people *really* know how to throw a bash.

**********

So, all that being said, I have decided to re-open a few projects I've had on the backburner, sort of to get my mind off the fact that my love lives in another country:

1. Re-do the word processor I started coding because I hate MS Word. It's a rough reason to learn how to code, but the world really *needs* a word processor that doesn't suck. NMB wants to help out, and thinks it should be aimed directly at writers. I'm game, bitch.

2. Gotta make me a batch of OpenCola. Those Torontonians occasionally come up with something that doesn't suck ;-)

3. I have about twelve gajillion clothes designs that *must* get made

4. I'm supposed to be submitting more poetry. I should prolly write some more

5. I guess I'll start a games company with Best Friend. I know we've been thinking about it for awhile now

6. I've got to become Prime Minister so I can undo some of the damage that the current bastard has done

I hope I'm not aiming too high, here...

||Gods save the Queen,
||cf

back || forth

older shite

One last little note... - 09.21.2006

de-stressing, biking and terrorism - 06.06.2006

Mildly stressed... - 05.29.2006

More crime stupidity - 05.28.2006

Scary stuff - 05.25.2006

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