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2001-07-03 || 9:49 p.m. Grumblegrumblegrumble... So, a year ago, I said in this space that I couldn't understand why the UN placed Canada as the most desirable place to live. I admit that being #1 seven years running is cool or impressive or something else that I can't quite nail down. but I couldn't see any of that in the faces of the beggars on Ste-Catherine or the paycheques of the part-timers who served me my tea or shared my lease. The Liberal Government crowed about it to high heaven, just as had the Conservatives before. Next week, the UN will release *this* year's list, Canada will be revealed to have dropped to #3 behind Norway and Australia. Fourth is Sweden, then Belgium. The USA will apparently take the sixth position (down from 3rd), and Iceland will be listed as 7th. We deserve it. we are a nation of weaklings who hand our prime minister the powers of a god; then turn, bend over, and grab our ankles. We beg for arbitration even when someone is swinging a machete at our exposed bellies. We pay our taxes while whining about where they are going, and we stay home and let our neighbours vote in the next government. we are the meekest, and we will *never* inherit the earth. we are less than a decade away from being a one-party state, and we deserve it. We deserve it all. We will pay user fees to go to the hospital because we don't care enough to save Medicare. we will slowly starve because we don't feel enough to save our selves. And I'm feeling down and letting all of you have it with both smoking barrels. I'm sorry. ********** 9.0am: CF walks into the office: 'How did she look?' 'Hot.' 'Christ, I *know* about that. I mean, did she look healthy? Happy?' 'Oh. Um, she looked alright, I guess...' 'And her friend? What did she look like? Trouble, sane...?' 'Party girl.' 'Aw *Shite*... ' ExLover came to see me at work to-day. I wasn't there yet, and she was gone by the time I walked in. She'll call when she gets back from Wildwood. It's weird. I was walking home with her from some nameless outing last friday -- I think it was the night we went to Narc's place for dinner -- when I looked up at the first star, and made my traditional wish: 'Please let ExLover be okay to-night.' Honest to the gods themselves, that's what I have wished every single night since the evening I packed up my toys and ran. Anyway, I made the wish, then realised what I was doing and stopped. I laughed at myself a bit and told her about what I'd just done. She laughed at me a bit too, then we walked the rest of the way home, her hand in mine. That moment, I should have known I'd hear ExLover's voice in my ear someday soon. I was happy to hear from her, though. I was glad to hear that she's alive and well. I think that I will always have a little pocket of warmth for that girl when she needs it; a kind word or a hug. I know she still needs it sometimes, no matter how tough she is. |
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shite One last little note... - 09.21.2006 de-stressing, biking and terrorism - 06.06.2006 Mildly stressed... - 05.29.2006 More crime stupidity - 05.28.2006 Scary stuff - 05.25.2006
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