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2001-06-02 || 2:25 a.m. Aw crap, more introspective shite from cf... Oh: to-night is a historic occasion. I asked a total stranger if I could take her picture, purely on the virtue of her having a beautiful and open face. My friends dared me to, so I walked over to where she was sitting with her friends, and asked. I wasn't going to take it anywhere and neither was she, but I still think she was pleased about it. Not because it was me asking (I am briefly attractive once a year when I have a nice thought; to-night was not my time of year), but just because I was really respectful about it. Aside from that, not much is on. I was thinking about a conversation I had with Monstre and Mystie last Sunday, while we were sitting in the utopian little terrace behind Caf� Santropol. It seems that when Monstre first met me, all those years ago (hell, Sister was still married back then), I intimidated her a bit. When she said that, I replied that it was because I kicked more butt at that time. I really did. I was socially awkward, yes. I still am -- though less so. I was, however, sure in the knowledge that I was going to be a starving artist for-ever, write the Great Canadian Novel, and basicaly do all the things I may never get to do. Boy, was *I* wrong. Monstre honey, it wasn't 'Leon' who broke me, it was my own inability to see my fricking dreams through. Be that as it may, I still got broken somewhere, and now I'm everybody's bitch. I don't want to go back to shaving my head and kicking the sand whenever possible, I don't want to go back to anonymous sex in the horrid bathrooms at La Naus�e, and I don't want to go back to bleeding in the gutter while the skins take down my friends; I *do* want to get some of my self-assuredness back. Monstre, I need our upcoming trip more than you realise. I need to unbreak myself. |
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shite One last little note... - 09.21.2006 de-stressing, biking and terrorism - 06.06.2006 Mildly stressed... - 05.29.2006 More crime stupidity - 05.28.2006 Scary stuff - 05.25.2006
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