2001-02-08 || 11.48p

I didn't ask you to be true, I asked you to begone.

So one day, my uncle was raping me (as was his want), when he grabbed my hair and said 'If you tell anyone, I'll kill you!' into my face. His breath stank of cigarets and the slow decay that accompanies them. His hands smelled tangy, like sweat after its dried to a film. His room smelled like socks and dry djism. He had a huge Stars and Stripes that covered his window and kept the room in a kind of thick, sepia atmosphere, and a foot-tall crucifix that watched all with compassion.

'Don't you tell on me, or I'll kill you, and God won't allow you into heaven because you betrayed a trust,' he said as he betrayed my trust.

I rolled my eyes towards the Stars and Stripes. the window behind it was always opend just a bit, but not enough to flush the stench from the air. the corner fluttered slightly and let in a sliver of honest sunlight. I remember that damned flag more than I remember the ruin he made of me every time. I used to stare at it to distract me from the pain and the bruises and scabs that I knew I would have when I awoke in my own bed the next morning.

I have hated that flag ever since;

I have hated the thought of betrayal ever since;

I have given no thought to heaven ever since;

I have hated my face ever since.

But I wonder why it never occurred to me to tell?



||Gods save the Queen,
||cf

back || forth

older shite

One last little note... - 09.21.2006

de-stressing, biking and terrorism - 06.06.2006

Mildly stressed... - 05.29.2006

More crime stupidity - 05.28.2006

Scary stuff - 05.25.2006



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