2000-09-06 || 2.58p

Crown Princess

So I spent fif-TEEN MINUTES (yes, that's fif-TEEN MINUTES) waiting for a fricking freight train to pass while I was on my lunch break. Man it went so damned slow that I could easily have jumped onto one of the cars and run across, but I was WAY to chicken. I just stood there, whistling quietly, surrounded by tourists. I finally crossed the tracks into the old port and hunkered down on a bench to watch the wom- er eat my lunch.

Yesterday, the Crown Princess was in port. big ship. Huge as an officeblock tipped on its side. I stood next to the hull and looked up for as long as I could, but I got vertigo so bad I almost threw up into the water. Later, I was working when she slid out into the river. Her horn was so low and so loud that the rumble of it vibrated the window next to me, so I got up to watch.

Wish I'd been on board, slipping away from my stupid little life.

I'm really depressed these days, I guess. Not due to any sort of chemical imbalance or anything. No worries there. It's just that Lover's been depressed about some things lately, and it's brought me down too, plus the fact that I think I would really like to be a famous photographer or clothing designer, not some anonymous director at a high-tech firm.

I know, I know: 28's too old to be saying shite like that. But you know what? I don't care. I'm tired of trying to be as grown up as all that. I want to have dreams and desires. They're what keep me going. I guess they're saving me from something grim, something I don't want to become.

Something I can't quite see, but of which I am, nonetheless, terrified.



||Gods save the Queen,
||cf

back || forth

older shite

One last little note... - 09.21.2006

de-stressing, biking and terrorism - 06.06.2006

Mildly stressed... - 05.29.2006

More crime stupidity - 05.28.2006

Scary stuff - 05.25.2006



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