2000-07-11 || 2.50

secrets

Okay, true revelations time at CFland.

I want a boat. I really want a boat. Not just a rowboat or an outboard, sounds-like-a-lawnmower motorboat, but a big, white, rigged, liveable yacht. I want to put out to sea one day and leave my mungy, crusty life behind. I want to live on my boat year-round, e-mailing my work in to the office, fishing my food from the sea, breathing salt and spume, and generally living a maritime life. I have always wanted a boat, even when I was very young.

I don't know why I rarely speak of my desires. Things I've wanted for as long as I can remember have stayed locked inside me, so that when I mention them, people ask where these new desires come from. I have many, and I've had them for-ever.

I want to learn to sail, and I want to overcome my terror of deep water. I want to go away for a while and get my head back together.

I want to write more. I never seem to get the time anymore. I want to take the time to practise my fiddle, become a better rollerblader, make a meal, paint something, finish my book, and all the other mundane little things I never have time to do.

My next embarassing revelation is that I'm deeply afraid of dying and being forgotten. The dying I'm no longer afraid of, but I have been kept up nights in terror of not being remembered by anyone. Or of being a footnote somewhere 'cf 188 left nothing to the world other than one chapbook and a few measly published poems. His clothihng designs, artwork, music, and writings have fallen into obscurity and mundanity.'

See? Pretty bad, eh?

Gorsh, but Privil�ge makes nice ships...



||Gods save the Queen,
||cf

back || forth

older shite

One last little note... - 09.21.2006

de-stressing, biking and terrorism - 06.06.2006

Mildly stressed... - 05.29.2006

More crime stupidity - 05.28.2006

Scary stuff - 05.25.2006



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Original �reation 2005