2000-06-12 || 17:54:47

ruminations on ford

You know, I was 14 before I realised that 'melancholy' wasn't a cross between Lassie and a piece of fruit.

Embarassing, eh ?

after reading ford's entry for to-day, I feel a little bit down. I always do when I read what ford writes about her mother, or the memories she holds of her. I feel barren because I will never meet the woman who helped mould the woman I hold in such painfully high regard, and who caused *that* look to come into ford's eye when she spoke of her.

The night I last saw ford as a citizen of Qu�bec, it was at a quasi-goodbye party that she was holding at that kickarse little appartment she had on the Plateau mont-royal. I had a girlfriend with me who looked into my eyes after we left. I don't know what she saw there, but whatever it was, it caused her to ask if I'd been with ford. I answered with the truth : No. Never. Not that kind of friend. The girlfriend then told me she couldn't compete with ford.

I don't think she really understood when I said 'No honey, you can't'

I promised to go see ford in Toronto and meet the family she spoke of so often. I promised. Twice. I remember both times (though I hope to the gods that ford does not) because I never went. There was always something else to do, or no money, or the timing was just bad.

I am now, permanently, a liar. I will never meet ford's mother. I will never again make a promise I cannot keep.

I'm sorry ford. I broke a promise, and *that's* why I can't read about your mother without a lump in my throat.



||Gods save the Queen,
||cf

back || forth

older shite

One last little note... - 09.21.2006

de-stressing, biking and terrorism - 06.06.2006

Mildly stressed... - 05.29.2006

More crime stupidity - 05.28.2006

Scary stuff - 05.25.2006



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