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2000-05-17 || 13:04:43 cf back on track Monstre said that seeing my entry from yesterday was 'Kinda like showing up to your own funeral, but at least you've got the good sense to sound somewhat apologetic.' Bear in mind that to me, Id' spent several days not updating other than once to explain my absence, then once more to close down the site. To me, I'm not showing up at my own funeral, I'm finally getting back to something I've missed. There are now essentially five days missing from the life of cf188, on top of the entire archive that I ripped up and threw away. Gads, but that felt like I was tearing out my own guts. I hated it. I shouldn't have done it. I could have just edited the bad parts. I wasn't thinking straight, and now all those days are gone. Get past it, cf. The torrent of e-mails and support I've gotten from all of you (including one or two e-mails from old Diarylanders who I kind of miss) has really made me feel wanted or important or something, and I guess I've decided to keep up the fight. I'd like to come back now, if that's alright with you. As part of my introspection over the past several days, I've come up with a plan to avoid this kind of shite in the future. I've decided to change my style slightly, in that I will no longer use names. The reason I had started was because of the fact that a lot of people (me included) find it cheesy to see ' X. did this, but when he saw J., he just flipped'. I have seen some of you use a better system, one which I will try to emulate. -------- Last night, I went to see the Ensemble Contemporain de Montr�al play at the Centre Pierre-P�ladeau. It was awful. The Best Friend scowled throughout the whole show, and I didn't like it any better. My Lover had never been to a contemporary music concert before, and she thought it was just noise. I got bored, so I spent the second half of the show massaging the Lover's, um, thighs and stuff... She liked the second half better. me too. After the show, we were standing in the lobby and talking to one of the orchestra members, when I was suddenly face-to-face with an ex-girlfriend. I wrote about her in these pages once. She was the one who I took to a party and subsequently witnessed her take the host into the bathroom and remove her clothes. Anyway, she was every bit as damned beautiful as I remembered, and she ignored my Lover and hers as soon as introductions were over. She then gave me her phone number and told me she'd 'really like to get together sometime and catch up.' We left as soon as I could extract myself. Once we were on the street, I crumpled the number and tossed it to the Best Friend, who sent it into the nearest trash-bin. The lover was less than impressed with the meeting, let me tell you. But if I'd been single, I would have kept the number. -------- A small entry, but it feels to me like the return of an old friend.
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shite One last little note... - 09.21.2006 de-stressing, biking and terrorism - 06.06.2006 Mildly stressed... - 05.29.2006 More crime stupidity - 05.28.2006 Scary stuff - 05.25.2006
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